Last post
Dear friends... this shall be my last post for u... i wont be there with u anymore and i might never have the chance to come here again..
Please take care of urself and i hope u all can have ur own happiness but dun hurt anyone to get ur own happiness... Pharse of life got to end someday... here i shall end my pharse and hope u all will remember me forever.. be it good or bad image i've given u.. all this doesnt matter anymore cos i know i wont be there for u..
This is specially for Mr Hippo... I know i have been unreasonable and having too much jealousy... thanks for ur heartless & decisive towards this relations so that we wont drag it anymore... i have try to be heartless too but i cant... really got to thanks u for all the paths we've gone... but still we cant go thru all the paths that were meant for us... mayb we aint meant for each other till the end and our fate had ended...
I sincerely wish all my friends could be happy and be loved forever
Precious LynN
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I am feeling more and more foolish when the days goes by... being rebellious had made me done alot of mistakes and most of all.. things which I shldnt do for it will make me regret... I jolly well know that its wrong for me to ruin myself like this but i really cant stand the way I'm being played by u.. u had me into a circle which u urself had wanted to cut it off months ago or mayb even years ago.. i always hope u can give me some ray of lights but the moment i had it, u kept it away.. this is really torturing for me!!!
U dunno anythin abt love cos u scare to be hurt by me and this is really somethin selfish... this time i had been real damn in ur hand.. u had me high up and jus a release, u end me up on the ground.. again and again.. i hav told myself to trust u and know that u will change to a better person but the thing is U HAVE NEVER LOVE ME COS U DUNNO WAT IS LOVE!!!
I REALLY DUNNO WAT U WAN OR EVEN WAT U THINKING... COS U ONLY KNOW HOW TO TELL ME "U WONT UNDERSTAND LA" OR "IF U WAN TO THINK LIKE THIS THEN GO AHEAD"...
I HAD ENOUGH OF UR FUCKING HACK CARE ATTITUDE AND UNAFFECTIONATE LOVE TOWARDS ME... FOR ALL I KNOW U ARE THE WORSE MAN I'VE EVER MET... U SAID THINGS WHICH SHLDNT BE SAID AND EVEN HUMILATED ME BY SAYING THIS IS MY RETRIBUTIONS... YES THIS IS IT... LET IT BE MY RETRIBUTIONS AND I HOPE ONE DAY U WILL GET IT TOO... THE MORE U DUN WAN TO BE HURT THE MORE U WILL BE HURT BY UR NEXT ONE...
U ALWAYS COMPARE ME TO OTHER GERS WHICH I DUN LIKE AND IF ONE DAY I WERE TO COMPARE U & HIM... WOULD U FEEL GOOD?? U ONLY THINK FOR URSELF AND SELDOM THINK OF HOW I FEEL.. NOW U HAD UR WAY AND WITHOUT ME U COULD BREADTH SO FREELY..
HERE IM GOING TO SAY SORRY TO U FOR ALL THE DISTURBANCE CAUSED TO U... I WILL NEVER BOTHER U AGAIN AND PLEASE DO NOT CARE ME ANYMORE FOR ALL I HAVE FOR U IS HATRED!!!
Precious LynN
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Coincidence
How many things happen coincidence?
Is it all planned or really jus pure coincidence??
Sometimes this has really made me wonder and angry
You may say "dunno... its all coincidence"
But on the other hand, both could have agree this time to come
So should I really trust u when it happens everytime?
I would trust you if this doesnt happen everytime but the problem is EVERYTIME!!!
ME AINT STUPID AND I HAVE EYES TO SEE WHATS GOING ON HERE
YOU GO AND OFF SHE GOES TOO!!!
This has been going for few months and its been a problem for us
Mayb its all coincidence as wat u said but too much coincidence is just unbelievable
Is it all planned or really jus pure coincidence??
Sometimes this has really made me wonder and angry
You may say "dunno... its all coincidence"
But on the other hand, both could have agree this time to come
So should I really trust u when it happens everytime?
I would trust you if this doesnt happen everytime but the problem is EVERYTIME!!!
ME AINT STUPID AND I HAVE EYES TO SEE WHATS GOING ON HERE
YOU GO AND OFF SHE GOES TOO!!!
This has been going for few months and its been a problem for us
Mayb its all coincidence as wat u said but too much coincidence is just unbelievable
The way u ignore my feeling is just like ignoring a beggar on the streets
Am I really so insignificant in ur heart OR do u always assume wat i know about ur thinking?
Trust is somethin which had to build between a couple
If you aint there to assure me that nothin happen between u & her
Then who is there to tell me all this??
Dun expect an outsider to tell me this when u wan me to trust u
What I wan to hear is from ur heart not other ppl
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Yesterdae was very tired and after reachin home straight lie on bed.. somemore very hungry.. faster eat liao then bath.. wanted to sleep early but ah chen came to my house as he bring his hard disk to my house... then went for supper at Greenridge where he had a big bowl of porridge... he was damn full and said regret having that porridge...hahahaha cos he jus jog finish before meeting me..
Chat for awhile then send me home le.. so so tired and today still very tired.. but at least today feelin better than yesterdae..
Yeah tonight zhenny going back Teck Whye to have dinner with dad.. and opps its rainin now.. *yawn* sleepy liao..
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
bz weekend
Had a bz weekend.. wowowowow
Sat meet Ren & his cousin (shao wei)... wat a stupid incident.. not worth sayin.. anywhere meet at my fav spot.. Lot 1 mac.. that stupid Brandon late for half hr.. wah cowz.. hate ppl late for meet up.. somemore still late for half hr.. chat from 2 to 4pm.. time passed real fast.. had a nice chat with them..
Ren got to go class at 4pm at Bugis and got to leave liao.. so shao wei drove me to IMM and meet June there.. cant find her at her location and keep callin her.. lucky that time she going for dinner then company her to eat but me didnt eat cos going to dinner with pillow.. she aint feelin well that day and still have to work.. i understand how u feel.. haizz woman are jus a "ke lian" creature.. wat to do..
Meet pillow & his cousins on the bus to another cousins house.. haizz too many cousins and make me blur.. but didnt really meet b4 and they were so eager to meet me.. hahhhaa cos.. errhmm..
well had dinner at one of the apt at Holland V and i didnt really enjoy the nite after dinner... felt very odd out cos another ger was there and this ger likes pillow very much and mayb somethin between them.. at 1st i tot its nothin but when things were to be discuss and i realised that i'm jus being the centre of attraction.. makin me feel so tied up and keep askin me Qs which pillow dun allow me to ans.. its all due to his cousins.. haizzz.. me nvr will meet them for dinner anymore.. sian... still got chat with them till 2am.. wah really damn tired and sick of all those gossipss.. 1 topic can be discussed whole nite... and still drag me inside... wah cowzz..
anywhere return home at 3+ and sleep for 2 hrs only cos went to Desaru with my cousins & auntie.. wake up at 630am when er-jie call me... very very tired... dun feel like going but no choice.. faster prepare liao then meet downstair when er-jie reach...had a tired day after the trip.. and very full too.. eat whole day and had some seafood b4 returnin home..
Straight to Guilin cos mum cook dinner liao and really no mood and very pek chek.. wanted to cry out liao but still got to hold back the tears.. haizz really very xin ku.. keep thinkin of wat happen tat day and makes me real fed up.. feel like slappin u 2 tight slap..
Had a surprised last nite and thats the returning of Zhenny.. yeah yeah.. finally shes back.. so surprised to see her and that time really wan to cry liao.. still holding back as much as i could.. tears filled my eyes but in the end still got to go back to where it comes from.. not a single drop had been shed.. zhenny bought alot of things back and give me a real big bdae card.. hahhaa real damn big... thanks zhenny...
me still received a bdae cake from mum & fen oso.. hahaha long over liao still need to celebrate.. no wonder mum cook so much last nite..
This morn feelin worse... felt being betrayed by many ppl.. all those ppl whom nvr help me i will nvr forget u...
Precious LynN
Monday, March 28, 2005
long weekend
Yesterdae went to Queensway Shoppin centre with mum & fen.. bought a 3 quarter jeans at 30 bucks... mum wanted to pay for me but its still better for me to pay myself cos dun wan her to worry... me still will get lost there cos all the shops are so alike and when i went toilet.. i cant find the way back to them le.. sian.. lost the way and had to meet at the centre.. went to the essential shop and mum had bought me a new mascarra at 14 bucks.. the new Maybelline XXL Volume.. not yet tried but gonna try soon..
Damn tired after shoppin at Queensway and had to walk back to Ikea cos fen park the car there.. and its FREE parkin hahahahaha cos we are lucky to park at the loading level of Ikea where the man had asked us to turn in due to long Q to car park at basement.. well we really are lucky...
Went home after shoppin and chen called me and said wanted to come my house to put his hard disk but last min cancel.. hmmph..
Damn boring at nite and went out to meet my frd for dinner but its was supper liao... cos by the time i eat was 12+ in the mornin liao.. *yawn*.. today mc not due to late sleep.. but due to insomia.. cant sleep well last nite and have an nightmare in the morn.. really make me low morale.. makes me sad oso.. i jus hope this dream nvr comes true..
Went to see doc and ask him about my mense.. haizz me got to on medicine for 3 weeks for my mense to regulate.. cos he said my hormones are imbalance.. too stress lately.. and its the 1st time i ever had this.. DAMN IT.. where got ppl come mense twice a month.. wah cowzz.. jus hope to have a normal mense and live my healthy life..
Yippez.. going to meet a friend at lot one call Ren.. hmm 1st time meetin him and well dun really know him well cos we only chat on msn.. always like to talk back to me and suan me.. hmmmph.. suppose to meet at nite but i think i misunderstand the time and thought that we gonna have supper and had told kitty to meet up oso.. but he had work at nite so only meet for lunch.. anywhere not going to meet up long too cos going for another meet up sessions in the evenin too.. wah bz bz bz bz..
Precious LynN
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Easter Eve
Went for Ms Congenital 2 preview at suntec due to the AIA with Kitty & Jack... really enjoy the show but starting had made me cried and ending part too.. his bf broke off with her when they were going for dinner and the ger was looking forward to have dinner with him when he called for break up... it really make me sad...
Anywhere after the movie, called Gregory for meet up as we 3 person (me. kitty & gre) didnt meet up together for years.. so went down to Bugis as he live there and we had a nice chat together and well did learn somethin from him.. cos he has all his philosophy... hahahaa always wan to win me.. haizz nvm la.. me oso dun feel like debatin too much.. was damn tired last nite after the movie.. and we chat until 230am.. wah reach home 3am liao.. faster bath and sleep le.. now eyes still swollen.. sian..
Today is Easter dae.. hmm but nothin special program.. later going to Queensway shoppin centre & Ikea with Fenny.. *yawn* still tired now..
Anywhere after the movie, called Gregory for meet up as we 3 person (me. kitty & gre) didnt meet up together for years.. so went down to Bugis as he live there and we had a nice chat together and well did learn somethin from him.. cos he has all his philosophy... hahahaa always wan to win me.. haizz nvm la.. me oso dun feel like debatin too much.. was damn tired last nite after the movie.. and we chat until 230am.. wah reach home 3am liao.. faster bath and sleep le.. now eyes still swollen.. sian..
Today is Easter dae.. hmm but nothin special program.. later going to Queensway shoppin centre & Ikea with Fenny.. *yawn* still tired now..
Precious LynN
Friday, March 25, 2005
Tears
Finally my eyes has open the door for the tears to come out... there's jus too much to hold.. its rushin out like hell and makin my eyes swollen like fishball.. i thought i could hold on for a longer time but im still a weak ger... i jus hate myself for gettin into this situation..
I wish time could go faster... im really sick of living in my own world.. doin things alone and hardly talk more than 10 sentence a day... i felt my world is gettin so quiet.. i felt so empty..
Im always in a daze thinkin of nothin... jus dun feel like movin an inch.. totally blackout whenever i think of u.. makin myself suffer from headaches & miagrain.. my room are messier than ever.. no mood to clean up and jus let it be.. doggy smells too.. haizz.. i wish to abandon everythin behind me and jus go away...
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Last nite meet June for dinner at Bt Batok interchange kopi shop... she had sambal chicken rice & i had jus a plain mee hoon kway... after eatin June went to buy fruits then go West Mall look for her t-shirt which she need it for her new job.. promoter in Giant..
Didnt get to buy any t-shirt but me myself bought 2 pouch cos its buy 1 get 1 free.. wanted to take 1 only cos not much pattern there but they said must take 2 cos anywhere its the same price.. so took 2 pouch with different materials..
Today wear the pouch to work.. cos tonight going clubbin with kitty & jack.. wowowowow... gonna have fun there... hippezzzzzz... but still not decide yet cos somethin crops up last min.. haizz its all the Ms Congenatial 2 preview fault.. suppose to watch at 7pm but no seat for us then got to change to 9pm.. haizz still waitin for kitty reply..
Didnt get to buy any t-shirt but me myself bought 2 pouch cos its buy 1 get 1 free.. wanted to take 1 only cos not much pattern there but they said must take 2 cos anywhere its the same price.. so took 2 pouch with different materials..
Today wear the pouch to work.. cos tonight going clubbin with kitty & jack.. wowowowow... gonna have fun there... hippezzzzzz... but still not decide yet cos somethin crops up last min.. haizz its all the Ms Congenatial 2 preview fault.. suppose to watch at 7pm but no seat for us then got to change to 9pm.. haizz still waitin for kitty reply..
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Yawn
Last nite had KFC for dinner at Westmall with kitty, jack & tortoise... had a wonderful 2 pcs meal and popcorn chicken... yummy yummy... so full sia... until now still can smell the chicken smell..
After eating we continue and chat... chat until all givin riddles to each other.. hahahhaha damn funny.. stupid Qs with stupid ans and some logic Qs but they cant guess it oso... hahahhaa omg had a great laugh last nite... after laughin head down to Value Shop where we go buy tibits... but only kitty & tortoise bought.. me bought some facial cotton & powder only.. oso went to Shop & Save cos kitty & tortoise wanted to buy some drinks like milk & milo.. both healthy style lately.. hahahha
Damn tired when i reach home.. cos i took bus home... waited so long for the bus.. no strenght to bath oso.. rest awhile then bath and online le.. last nite was so crowded.. so many friends online and so bz.. doin my webcam and testing with Jerry.. hahaha that was fun.. only pity that my speed was very slow.. so didnt really connect the webcam.. but at least still can use the audio to talk to each other.. hahahhaa
Last nite had a wonderful chat with Zhen cos she seldom online and was so surprise to see her... chat with her awhile then invite June come in.. wow 3 of us chat until 1am.. damn tired now.. yeah yeah... zhenny comin back soonn... in 1 week's time.. gonna have a bbq & steamboat to welcome her home...
Precious LynN
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
If a girl cries in front of u, it means that she couldnt take it anymore
If u take her hand, she would stay with u for the rest of ur life
If u let her go, she couldnt go back to being herself anymore
A gal wont cry easily, except in front of the person whom she loves the most, she becomes weak
A gal wont cry easily, only when she love u the most, she put down her ego
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u, please hold her hands firmly, coz she's the one who is willing to stay with u 4 for the rest of ur life
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u, please dont give her up, maybe bcoz of ur decision, u ruin her life
When she cry rite in front of u, when she cry bcoz of u
Look into her eyes
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think!!!
Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity in front of u and bcoz of u?
She cries not because she is weak, She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity
She cries is becos crying silently is no longer possible
the pain, hurt n agony have bcome too big a burden to be kept inside
Guys, think about it
If a gal cry her heart out to u and all because of u
Its time to look back on wat u have done, Only u will know the answer to it
Do consider it, coz one day, it may b too late for regrets
It may b too late to say "im sorry"
Dont do this to a gal, you may regret for the rest of ur life
Maybe in ur life, she's the only one who loves u the most
Remember this lesson
Precious LynN
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
KFC
Yippez... later going to meet Kitty, Jack & Turtle at Westmall.. having dinner at KFC or either Burger king cos turtle has the bruger king coupoon and i have the kfc coupoon...
Me still very full now cos jus now eat the kuay for lunch and still no appetite.. feel very sick and sleepy now.. last nite didnt sleep well and till morn still dreamin.. cant get up for work.. keep dreamin of rubbish..
Later hope to go home early to sleep but i dun think i will sleep early... mayb play my game before going to bed.. planning to go jogging tonight but stupid mense come and spolit my plan... haizz sian liao... have to wait till next week then run le.. so weak now.. no strenght to run now.. *yawn*
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Today im going to thanks those who have sms me a bdae greetings.. alot of ppl send to me and im really touched for they still rem my bdae...
A big thanks to Adrian (someone who nvr know here)... he was the 1st person to call me to wish happy bdae yesterdae (actually other ppl called on sun to wish liao but Adrian is the 1st & only person on my day)... he know im alone on my bdae and called my mum to tell her to celebrate with me... though im angry for wat he did but i know he hope that i can be happy on my Big Day... anywhere thanks Adrian...
Another person is Jonathan (Mr Evil)... thanks for helping me to find that bloody song which took me a whole noon to find... finally let u find it and help me upload it.. thanks alot...
I wan to thanks June & Kitty too for accompany me on Sat & Sun.. we SHL will always be together... pls dun let any misunderstandin to caused conflict to our relations..
Today came work and really is a bad day for me.. early morn my supervisor asked me y im late... this is the conversation:
She: Hui Ling y u late?
Me: Cos i over slept
She: Next time overslept pls let me know if not boss online see msn and know we late
Me: ok
I reach office at 933am.. she jus reach office few mins before me and say me liao.. i wanted so much to tell her that u urself oso late and somemore expect me to be puntucal when u cant set example to me.. she was my senior.. but that doesnt mean i always have to be the one to open the door and take the call... damn bloody bitch..
I was damn low morale and when i go upstair to on the things.. felt somethin werid so went toilet check... OMG my mense come... mense come is normal... but this time round it aint normal for me.. i had jus finished my mense 1 week ago and now it come so suddenly... i was so scare.. but i think its all due to stress and not enough sleep... and too much smokin cos ive been smokin alot since Sat nite..
A big thanks to Adrian (someone who nvr know here)... he was the 1st person to call me to wish happy bdae yesterdae (actually other ppl called on sun to wish liao but Adrian is the 1st & only person on my day)... he know im alone on my bdae and called my mum to tell her to celebrate with me... though im angry for wat he did but i know he hope that i can be happy on my Big Day... anywhere thanks Adrian...
Another person is Jonathan (Mr Evil)... thanks for helping me to find that bloody song which took me a whole noon to find... finally let u find it and help me upload it.. thanks alot...
I wan to thanks June & Kitty too for accompany me on Sat & Sun.. we SHL will always be together... pls dun let any misunderstandin to caused conflict to our relations..
Today came work and really is a bad day for me.. early morn my supervisor asked me y im late... this is the conversation:
She: Hui Ling y u late?
Me: Cos i over slept
She: Next time overslept pls let me know if not boss online see msn and know we late
Me: ok
I reach office at 933am.. she jus reach office few mins before me and say me liao.. i wanted so much to tell her that u urself oso late and somemore expect me to be puntucal when u cant set example to me.. she was my senior.. but that doesnt mean i always have to be the one to open the door and take the call... damn bloody bitch..
I was damn low morale and when i go upstair to on the things.. felt somethin werid so went toilet check... OMG my mense come... mense come is normal... but this time round it aint normal for me.. i had jus finished my mense 1 week ago and now it come so suddenly... i was so scare.. but i think its all due to stress and not enough sleep... and too much smokin cos ive been smokin alot since Sat nite..
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
My Bdae dinner
Wow damn full now.. jus came back from Gombak cos mum treating me to eat at the kopi shop... we 4 person (mum, me, fen & uncle) eat 7 dishes.. wow damn damn full now.. cant breadth properly le cos whole day didnt eat and suddenly eat so much.. gettin heart burn now.. arghh got to sleep early tonight le.. *yawn*
Precious LynN
Monday, March 21, 2005
Sad
dunno wat to write today
Precious LynN
Monday, March 21, 2005
Ma La steamboat
Last nite went jogging with bao bei again and this time round.. bring my doggy go along.. he must be very happy cos he very long didnt come out play le..
Now my leg really pain from the joggin... last nite didnt warm up enough and start running liao.. somemore have to take doggy along.. so troublesome.. next time not going to take him along.. make my leg all red and keep stepping on my stomach when inside the car.. too excited about coming out...
Tonight might be having Ma La Steamboat at Bugis.. cos going to celebrate my bdae... yeah yeah.. but still not confirm cos dunno wan to call who go.. anywhere i cant treat them eat cos i really no money liao.. haizz.. sorry guys.. u all have to fork out urself for the dinner liao..
Precious LynN
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Last nite
*yawn* so tired now... been looking for new skin from morn till now.. my eyes are so tired and sleepy now.. haizz still cant find 1 suitable skin... got to continue tml le..
Last nite went to Lot 1 meet Kitty & tortoise and kitty bring her friend, Calvin.. 1st time meet him and well.. quite orite.. me meet tortoise 1st cos he reach there around 6pm liao and have to wait for us for a long time... i faster go meet him and reach there at 640.. well still better than nothin..
Called June and she still having her steamboat dinner and jus have to forget it (hope u enjoy ur dinner ar).. Chat with tortoise for 20 mins and finally kitty reach liao.. with the calvin... they wanted to go food court eat but i dun feel like walkin anymore so waited at Mac for them to come up.. me oso lazy to go buy and keep chattin with tortoise until kitty come up.. when she come up she help me go buy the mac.. thanks kitty (muacks)...
Had a great time joking over there and talk about... *opps* hmm i forget liao.. too many to list out... lazy to think oso.. after our gossipin sessions... went home and wanted to play my Sims 2 le.. bao bei called me and ask me go jogging... though im tired but still not sleepy.. so we went to CCK (my old house) track to jog.. jog for 45 mins and wah... damn tired and leg pain liao.. now still pain.. too long didnt exercise le and suddenly have to run so much.. me had ran 2 rounds and bao bei ran 4 rounds...
after running faster go home bath and while waitin for my hair to dry... me play the Sims2.. hahahha.. my female Sims had finally give birth to a baby.. yeah yeah.. last nite was so rush and b4 giving birth she was like so weak.. and keep lacking of many things.. make me nervous.. well play until 1am and finally shut down my pc.. wanted to sleep but keep havin nightmare about the sims.. keep dreamin of the baby and the mother.. makin myself so tired this morn..
late for work and felt giddy.. leg pain and i felt i had lost some fats liao.. my jeans are so loose.. jia liat liao.. i dun wan to lose any fats... me is getthin thinner le.. think cannot run too much in future..
Precious LynN
Friday, March 18, 2005
This morn receive an email from my cousin and this email had made me really damn sick... Its about Animal Fur (pls click) and I really hate those people.. they really have no heart at all... I really wish they could have this ending in their next life.. this really disgust me.. I felt pity for those helpless animal and have to go thru all those suffering..
PLEASE DO NOT BUY REAL ANIMAL FUR!!!!!
PLEASE DO NOT BUY REAL ANIMAL FUR!!!!!
PUT URSELF IN THE SHOE OF THOSE ANIMAL WHO HAVE SACRIFICE FOR UR MATERIALISTIC DREAMS!!!
IT REALLY HURTS TO HAVE PEOPLE PEEL UR SKIN WHEN U ARE STILL ALIVE..
OMG i cant stop thinkin about the image of those small poor animals.. it really hurts to see them suffer in those wicked bloddy sickening beast hands and i cant do anythin... pls dears frds... pass around wat u have saw...
Precious LynN
Friday, March 18, 2005
Sian...
Damn sian now... boring life in office.. nothin much to do here.. wan to see my baby now... baby baby.. i miss u so much... so long didnt get to see u le..
Later tonight gonna meet Kitty at Lot 1 for dinner... yeah yeah... errmm June.. u got friends gatherin so didnt call u.. i saw in ur blog liao.. going for steamboat sia.. me so long didnt have steamboat le..
Later Kitty gonna intro me his friend "Calvin aka RVF (Rider Very Fat)" to me.... hahahhaa... he call himself RVF cos his bike is RVF... omg.. ermm kitty told me that he has big bone... and a little "Di Zhong Hai".. quite an interestin frd she have...
Later tonight gonna meet Kitty at Lot 1 for dinner... yeah yeah... errmm June.. u got friends gatherin so didnt call u.. i saw in ur blog liao.. going for steamboat sia.. me so long didnt have steamboat le..
Later Kitty gonna intro me his friend "Calvin aka RVF (Rider Very Fat)" to me.... hahahhaa... he call himself RVF cos his bike is RVF... omg.. ermm kitty told me that he has big bone... and a little "Di Zhong Hai".. quite an interestin frd she have...
But mayb bao bei going oso cos he long time didnt eat KFC le.. yeah me too very long didnt had KFC... yummy yummy...
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 17, 2005
These 2 days hide at home after work and playin my Sims2 till 12am.. damn tired and sleepy every morning... had a great time building my Sims family.. yesterdae create a new family call The Porky family.. 1 male (Blue Porky) & 1 female (Pink Porky)..
No relations between them cos wanted to find a new partner from neighbour for them... Though is tiring and sian to repeat everythin but when a baby is born... the joy of it and sufferin the parents have to bear was worth it.. makes me more understand wat problem a family life could have...
I learn somethin from this game... time spend together must be quality and not jus quantity.. couple may stay together but things accomplished between them are lesser than a couple who spend 5 hrs everyday.. most people took things for granted and even husband & wife... though married.. but life still have to be excitin and have more intimacy... even a hug could make life more worth while..
All my love life have never been a good one.. mayb i place too high expectations and hopes on each of them and thats makes me feel disappointed in them when they cant meet my expectations... I know not everyone is perfect but all i ask for is loyalty and faithfulness from them.. is it really so difficult?
Stages of heart breaking has make me more immune to relations.. less trust in man.. i have many guy friends around me.. i linger with guys more than gers and i really know wat guys are thinkin.. this has made me more aware of man cos i know when they are lyin.. the gesture, the eyes movement, the way they behave had betrayed them...
Sometimes my wisdom has make my life upside down.. am i too smart to realise that somethin is wrong around me?? Or am i being too sensitive?? Is there any man who are more clever than me??
No relations between them cos wanted to find a new partner from neighbour for them... Though is tiring and sian to repeat everythin but when a baby is born... the joy of it and sufferin the parents have to bear was worth it.. makes me more understand wat problem a family life could have...
I learn somethin from this game... time spend together must be quality and not jus quantity.. couple may stay together but things accomplished between them are lesser than a couple who spend 5 hrs everyday.. most people took things for granted and even husband & wife... though married.. but life still have to be excitin and have more intimacy... even a hug could make life more worth while..
All my love life have never been a good one.. mayb i place too high expectations and hopes on each of them and thats makes me feel disappointed in them when they cant meet my expectations... I know not everyone is perfect but all i ask for is loyalty and faithfulness from them.. is it really so difficult?
Stages of heart breaking has make me more immune to relations.. less trust in man.. i have many guy friends around me.. i linger with guys more than gers and i really know wat guys are thinkin.. this has made me more aware of man cos i know when they are lyin.. the gesture, the eyes movement, the way they behave had betrayed them...
Sometimes my wisdom has make my life upside down.. am i too smart to realise that somethin is wrong around me?? Or am i being too sensitive?? Is there any man who are more clever than me??
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Happiness
What does happiness means to u?
What is the meaning of happiness?
I have long forgotten the feeling of being happy... this feeling has gone away long time ago.. i cant seem to catch it back with any of my tools on hand..
I could still see it but the image is gettin further and further away from me.. i had once tried to catch up with it... but all my effort were gone when somethin interupts the process... before i decided to catch my happiness... my mind were all blank except memories within me.. memories of all the happiness i had... happy memories of carefree lifestyle.. memories of staying out late with friends.. memories of where we had left out footprints...
The happiest days i had was in Sec 5... those were the innocent days which we all had... staying back after school to study but actually talk cock and photo sessions.. playing a fool in sch and chattin in AV theatre while teacher was explaining..
Those were the days.. time passed and never come back.. i was once a happy go lucky ger... nothin much to bother.. no burden.. no responsibility... do wat i wan.. have wat i wish... but as time goes by... i cant do wat i wan and all my wishes have to be delayed.. OR mayb when one grows up.. wish lists has become more expensive and not navie anymore..
What is the meaning of happiness?
I have long forgotten the feeling of being happy... this feeling has gone away long time ago.. i cant seem to catch it back with any of my tools on hand..
I could still see it but the image is gettin further and further away from me.. i had once tried to catch up with it... but all my effort were gone when somethin interupts the process... before i decided to catch my happiness... my mind were all blank except memories within me.. memories of all the happiness i had... happy memories of carefree lifestyle.. memories of staying out late with friends.. memories of where we had left out footprints...
The happiest days i had was in Sec 5... those were the innocent days which we all had... staying back after school to study but actually talk cock and photo sessions.. playing a fool in sch and chattin in AV theatre while teacher was explaining..
Those were the days.. time passed and never come back.. i was once a happy go lucky ger... nothin much to bother.. no burden.. no responsibility... do wat i wan.. have wat i wish... but as time goes by... i cant do wat i wan and all my wishes have to be delayed.. OR mayb when one grows up.. wish lists has become more expensive and not navie anymore..
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I feel like a bird in a cage when im jus for people to see... I have no freedom of my own and I have to be bond by other people... im jus like a pretty bird in a beautiful cage with my own life... I always saw alot of people looking at me outside the cage but never one had the intention to rescue me from my suffering..
There is 1 who is willing to rescue me but i have declined it straight... isnt it foolish of me to reject someone who wans to protect me and give me all the love and care in his world? Am i diggin my own grave or designin my tombstone for future use??
The surface of my happiness is actually my way to cover myself from those hidden disgustin past.. All the glamorous time I have are all created by ur hands.. u make me feel like im the luckiest and happiness woman in this world and the same time.. i feel so insecure for u make me feel like a super glue to u... i can sense that all ur doings are jus artificial.. its jus a way to make me "feel" happy and a way to keep u occupied..
There is 1 who is willing to rescue me but i have declined it straight... isnt it foolish of me to reject someone who wans to protect me and give me all the love and care in his world? Am i diggin my own grave or designin my tombstone for future use??
The surface of my happiness is actually my way to cover myself from those hidden disgustin past.. All the glamorous time I have are all created by ur hands.. u make me feel like im the luckiest and happiness woman in this world and the same time.. i feel so insecure for u make me feel like a super glue to u... i can sense that all ur doings are jus artificial.. its jus a way to make me "feel" happy and a way to keep u occupied..
Im still waiting for someone who could open the cage door and let me fly out...
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
My weekends
Sat nite went to Ego's at Gallery hotel to meet ah fei & lilian.. quite alot of ppl go
Bao bei, ah chen, nelson, hor fun, joy, calvin, felicia, kenny & junqi
Ego's seems to gettin lesser and lesser customer... but Liquid room is filled with many "ang mohs" & local... long Q outside and seem happenin there...
Ah fei intro his frd cum the boss of the pub, Eric, for his pet shop. He is going to open a pet shop at Katong near East Coast road... he talk to me alot of dogs knowledge and whether im interested in mating my dog with another dog... each matin can earn 300 bucks.. and somemore he can come and fetch my doggy to his shop...
Anywhere after pubbin we went to Geylang eat "Minced pork mee" but i ate "mee fen soup"... last week oso went geylang to eat "minced pork mee" but different street... was so so tired after eatin and take chen car go home...
Had a great time sleepin on sun cos drank the cough syrup and sleep... makes me more tired and easy to sleep... sleep until 1+ then wake up when bao bei called me.. he said wanted to go orchard with chen to shop and suppose to take bus but last min go Sim Lim Square with randolf cos dolp oso going to SLS.. so he drove us there and shop for pc things.. passed by a korea provision shop and sell quite alot of tibits from korea.. bought some chocolate stuff and went to orchard...
Wanted to buy somethin for myself but nothin catch my eyes... sian... either too expensive or no color to choose.. saw a bag which cost $159 and its very nice.. owowowoww.. but cant afford it.. cant bear to spend this money.. mayb when going KL then shop for more bah..
Went taka shop and walk to HMV shop for ah chen clothes... in the end... all of us didnt get anytthin... both guys saw some shirt at taka and wanted to buy but not worth the price... finally took 190 home and reach home in time to watch "Ru Hua"... damn funny show on channel 8 at 9pm.. had a great laugh and after laughin went to Greenridge to eat.. me had a chicken cutlet meal and bao bei order "char kuay teow" (black sauce which bao bei seldom order)...
After eatin all are tired and head home for bed... home sweet home..
Precious LynN
Monday, March 14, 2005
This had made me cry
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money.When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn t help doing so. I moved Dew s hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce,what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce and in the month time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn t want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room,then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn t tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.
I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every morning until we are old
Precious LynN
Saturday, March 12, 2005
OMG im down with sore throat and abit of running nose.. sian liao la... dry cough makes me more sick.. coughin whole nite thru and makin my stomach hurts... wat a bad time to fall sick...
Yesterdae get a free ride home cos mum came over to pray and after prayin went to Gombak to have dinner at coffee shop.. Dishes are: Fried prawns with mango sauce, fried chicken with rojak sauce, vege, la la (seafood).. wow very full last nite.. suppose to meet june at lot 1 to have dinner but got to eat with mum so ask her along to eat with us..
Here I got to apologise for my bad temper to bao bei cos last nite i dunno y suddenly so pek chek after dinner and show him abit of attitude.. Sorry bao bei (^_^)..
Later kitty & jack comin to Tg Pagar to pray cos we haven "bai hu ye" (tiger god)... gonna have lunch 1st then proceed to the temple near the MRT.. but have to take mrt home myself later cos jack will pillon kitty home as kitty is not ridin her "lau gong" here...
Precious LynN
Saturday, March 12, 2005
To my Baby
This post is specially delicated to my Dearest Bao Bei Sheng Da
You are the 1st person i have delicate my post here
Lately im not in the right hormones and always think of those senseless Qs (but i dun think without proof)... Sometimes i know things are there for me to discover and no way to avoid it... all depends on me whether to figure out myself or ignore it... but somehow i choose to figure it out... u must thinkin that y i always pick bones from an egg... thats the nature of WOMAN!!
No matter what i think... somehow its all connect to u... there's no smoke without any wind.. there are many things which i didnt tell u cos u have no time to communicate with me and thats all the past... clapping needs 2 hands to have sound... i might seem unreasonable sometimes but within all those unresonable... i always have my reason to behave this way... jus that i didnt tell u..
I always get my way and wat i wan until i met u... life with u can be happy when there are no obstacle... u make me realise that i cant always get my way... i cant always be the "little princess" in ur heart cos ur heart doesnt allow me to live fully by myself... mayb thats the nature of u.. we both know abt this...
U always ask me y i choose u instead of pillow when he had treated me so well... to choose u instead of him is that i have learnt my lesson... sometimes things cant go back to the way it was when u leave... things are always changing... i might be happy when im with him but i have no more love and feelings towards him... jus a care & concern for him..
I know u have change alot for me oso and i really appreciate your love to me wat u have done for me for the past 2 yrs... we might not have gone thru alot and im glad u still have me as ur gf cos without u... i wont have so much laughter...
Since fate has let us together then i will cherish the relations with u and i will still be unreasonable like b4.... I do love you but when things goes wrong.. u aint always there to coax me and assure me.. SO PLS DO ASSURE ME MORE IN THE FUTURE hor...
Precious LynN
Friday, March 11, 2005
Things to go thru
Does a person got to get hurt in a relations?
Can both parties be unhurt and settle in a more harmony way?
Must there be shouting & argument whenever the storm comes?
Do you have to use harsh words to win over?
Love is not abt wining or losing... its abt giving and taking... dun expect to receive wat u give when u know that he doesnt appreciate ur doings... people say "You got to give all out in Love regardless of the returning" but when "ALL" is out... what is left for you?
LonelinessTearsSad memoriesHurtsPainsHatredSwollen eyesSenseless mindWalking Zombie
By the time u get all this... its another time for u to grow up... people grow up fast this way... learn things thru the hard way... the more hurt u get... the more immune u are... cos "Hurt" has "Pain" thru our hearts and overtake our veins... no way to feel any pain...
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Something seem to bother me but somehow i cant catch wat it is.. mayb i know but im jus runnin away from reality.. cos reality hurts... hurts alot.. sometimes im not so strong and brave as u think.. i oso need someone to love and care for me all the times... i need someone to be there for me always.. someone who can make me secure and being loved..
Im sick and tired of thinking all those rubbish and worryin abt somethin which is going to be predicted.. Im jus a sensitive woman with insecure within me... everywhere!!! some words are meant to be kept slience but some are supposed to be said out.. TO ME.. y cant u make me feel more secure by assuring me and keep reassuring... do u have to give me that heck care attitude??
If time were allow to go back.. i would rather have u as a friend... i dun wan to spoil our relations by some unknow reasons... life in the past was fun and carefree.. but i know those were the times where it have to be kept and treasured... i know we cant live in the past and always have to move on... dun worry.. i will move on... move on to a more happy life and more secure relations.. i hope u will be happy as i am and may we be friends till we grow "lau kok kok"
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Circle
Things keep repeating itself and i really hate this kind of circle... y cant i break it thru... i really wan to put everythin down and live for good... am i makin my ownself suffer??
you dunno wat u have caused to our relations and still laughin all way thru.. still think nothin happen and the fact is that u are the one who have caused the hurt in me!!!
I really cant stand the way u treat as nothin happen... y do u have to come into our life? are u the "xiao ren" in my life? seein u makes me puke!!!
I hope u can get out of my life and sight asap.....
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
New Asia Bar
Had a new experience at New Asia Bar and took some photos with "Xiao chen" new digi cam...
yeah bao bei & me
me, xiao chen & joy
xiao chen & bao bei
bao bei & me again
Joy, bao bei & me
me & joy
me me me
New Asia Bar are perfectly for those who enjoy hangin out with "Ang Mohs" and sexually mature ppl for there are always ppl dancin dirty dance... guys gonna check this place out for ur new outin place..
Precious LynN
Monday, March 07, 2005
Finally
Last nite was the last lesson for the AIA course.. been going home late these few days.. sleep late oso and making myself so tired.. but mainly is becos of my stupid mense... still dun wan to come and make me damn tired and sleepy everyday.. y i have to suffer all this PMS things.. woman are really a pity creature..
Precious LynN
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Financial Advisor Course
OMG... now i know Financial Advisor course are so much difficult... too many policies to rem.. many rules to abide.. last nite went for the class and dun really understand wat the lecturer was talkin abt... cant catch the ball she thrown.. me and kitty was very confused and alot of Qs waiting for us to ask.. wasnt enough time to ask and everyone was leaving when the class end at 915pm.. even the lecturer was packing up.. tonight is the last day le.. have to concentrate on wat she said.. if not have to study very very very hard for myself..
Precious LynN
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Yeah
Yesterdae had a day off for MC... whole body aching and serve headache.. from nite till morn and till nite again... whole body no strenght oso... think i work too hard for the waitress le... always myself to the limits when doing work... but i didnt really push myself for the job of this waitress cos its rather an easy job for me.. jus that i have not been exercising and suddenly have to stretch myself out ...
All i wan now is money.. without money, my life sucks.. though i earn not for myself but at least some things can be paid off by my hard earned money... its a way to discipline myself too.. hope i can keep it going..
Tonight will be going for AIA insurance class and i had missed it last nite.. kitty went last nite and said its was very tough... alot of policy to study.. hmm i think it will be worse for me.. i dun really like to study especially after work cos thats the most tiring time of the day... but have to struggle it thru cos this is the way to make more money.. yeah.. i will keep it up!!!
Precious LynN
Tuesday, March 01, 2005